Colour Quiz

I did a colour quiz today. Just thought I’d share the results since I found it was actually really accurate. It’s kind of scary how accurate it is because the quiz was really simple and easy. Anywho enjoy:

Colour Test – Results

Your Existing Situation

“Creative and emotional, looking for ways to further expand those qualities. Looking for a partner who enjoys the same activities. Seeking adventure and new and unusual activities.”

Your Stress Sources

“Has high standards and wants to make friends with those who have equally high standards; however, she has been unsuccessful in building these types of relationships. she is feeling under appreciated and her self-esteem is damaged because of it. she is uncomfortable with the situation and wishes to escape, but refuses to make compromises or lower her standards. Puts off resolving her problems because she afraid of the conflicts it may cause. In order to feel secure, she needs to feel appreciated by others so they will do what she asks of them and respect her opinions”

Your Restrained Characteristics

Current events leave her feeling forced into compromise in order to avoid being cut off from affection or future cooperation.

“Although she is able to find contentment through sexual activity, she feels hopeless to change her problems and difficulties and continues to make the best of what she has.”

Is feeling emotionally drained from stressful and tense situations. she is in need of peace and quiet in order to overcome her lack of energy and may become irritable if she does not recover.

Current events leave her feeling forced into compromise in order to avoid being cut off from affection or future cooperation.

Your Desired Objective

Very active imagination and may be prone to fantasies and daydreaming. Always dreaming of interesting and exciting things to happen to her. Is a charmer and wants to be admired for that.

Your Actual Problem

“Feeling tension and stress brought on by situations which are out of her control, leaves her feeling helpless, anxious, and in adequate. In order to build her self-esteem back up, she looks to others for recognition, respect, and encouragement. This can be a problem since she tends to blame others for her shortcomings. Searching for solutions that are geared toward her needs and self-consciousness.”

Your Actual Problem #2

“Feeling unimportant in this current situation, and is looking for different conditions where she will be able to better prove her worth and importance.”

A Magical Melody…

I open my eyes, I’m surrounded by clouds and can’t see much but… there’s a soft harmony playing in the distant. It sounds so serene and amazing. My heart beat seem to be synchronised with the melody. I turn to look at you, I can see that you can hear it too because your smile is almost as wide as mine!  Your hand makes it way into mine and with one touch my body become all warm. The clouds hover around as though it’s hiding something from us. You have your gaze fixed forward, your eyes sparkling like diamonds and your light brown hair is ruffled by the wind; you suddenly catch me giggling at your cute expression and wink at me while blushing.

We both stare forward as though we can see behind the thick clouds, you squeeze my hand; telling me that something wonderful is about to be discovered. We both count to three in whispers “one…two…three!” As soon as three is said we both run forward; eyes closed. I can feel the clouds vanish as we sweep past them and wind swishing through our hair. I open my eyes again, and gasp. We’re surrounded by a dream-like place. Green grass; ripe fruits, huge tree’s and the sky… I stopped to stare at the captivating sky. It seem as though someone had captured the essence and the grace of both the sunrise and sunset and painted it onto the sky.

I felt a tug at my sleeve. I looked at you and you beckoned me with you eyes to continue on to see what other wonders await us. I pulled your cheek and ran ahead laugh; when I looked back you were rubbing your cheek and ran after me. We both laughed loudly as we ran fields upon fields as though nothing in the world could stop this excitement and joy.

The melody seemed to play louder and louder as our sheiks of laughter got louder, and I found myself lost in it. And had no choice but to hum to it as I walked slowly allowing myself to regain my breath. I kept walking until I saw something that had me so very intrigued. A door… in a tree. Isn’t that something you’d see in a fairytale? I walk up to it when out of the blue you come hugging me from behind! And we both take a tumble to the ground! Rolling on the floor we both begin to laugh again. I put an end to my laughing to see your face gleaming at mine, our meet and flowers twist them selves and tie our hands together.The melody now so loud we can see musical notes floating around us.

We lay there, for a second or two when we both look up at the sky and point to the usual shaped clouds. I find myself telling you about the way the clouds remind me of candy floss and you wrap your arms around my waist and whisper “I love you!” I turn my head to look at your and your lips lock on to mine for a second or two I felt as though I were on top the world. I smile. You pluck a flower from beside you and place it in my hair. And we sit up… giggling and then I open my mouth and sing to the harmony “la, la, la, la, la,” You laugh and join in and bubbles suddenly appear floating upon the wind. I pop them with my finger  as you pop one in your moth and cringe at the liquid taste in your mouth. You stand up and say “Let’s go home now,” I sit there completely ignoring you. I am suddenly being carried like a princess. We both laugh for the last time and walk through the door…

I open my eyes… I stare at my ceiling I turn and see you doing the same. We’re both lying on the floor…smiling….

 

People? Change? You?

People change all the time. Some for better. Others for worse. However, sometimes the way others change can effect you. And as a result… you change in order to adapt. Although the way you change doesn’t bother me; I sometimes have a yearning to speak once again to the you, from the past that brought me much pleasure to know.

Occasionally,I’ll be at my desk with a heap load of homework and suddenly “ping”. Your name appears on my phone. I’d smile. because that name brings me many memories. But one in particular that I seem to take the most interest in. That one that always seems to amuse me. The memory of when we first met. : )

I think this was before I even took a liking to you, or rather wanted to take a liking to you. We sat there motionless and speechless. The atmosphere was getting more and more awkward as the seconds past therefore I decided to take the initiative to go ahead and start a conversation. Idiotically yet predictively I asked the most stupidest question! “What do you wanna be when you older?” I asked in a considerably stalk-ish manner never the less, you still replied. “Uhm… I really haven’t thought about it too much, why? what do you want to be?”

Typical. Should’ve guessed a shy person such as you would respond in such an irritating; annoying; high pitch; innocent voice. I already disliked you, and I barely knew you so I decided if I kept dragging on about what I want to be then I wouldn’t have to listen to your caustic-like voice! So I went on and on…and on about what I wanted to be until I repeated myself at least ten times!

Subsequent to my answer was yet another silence that was almost enough to kill my brain! I hated these weird moments where there was nothing left to say as I was more of a flibbertigibbet.(a person who is chatty. It’s a real word believe it or not. Damn I love that word.) And you were more like the…air? You were there. We could sence you presence but we couldn’t care less. So eventually, after what seemed like hours of excruciating silence…you opened your mouth to speak (THANK GOD).

“I want to be someone who helps others… like a mentor, or a psychiatrist!” You said. I couldn’t tell why your voice was so shaky because your back was to me and you were looking out the window. I wanted to say something but for once I had no riposte then suddenly like you knew what I was thinking, you said.

“I’m usually misunderstood. I feel like no one understands me. And if they do, I’m afraid. I don’t know why. But… I feel like if I listen to other people problems,  understand them and give them successful advice. Then I won’t need others to understand me, I’ll be able to handle it all by my self. Plus… there’s that thing of being able to help others…giving them the hope that I’ve never seemed to have. That reassuring thought that ‘ hey, it’s okay, I’m not alone because someone understand me sort of thing. It’s weird but that’s just how I see it” You paused momentarily. To take a breath and think; why would you need to think? I’m the one that’s sitting here spell-bound! Your words were like an antiphon sung sweetly and effortlessly hence why I was somewhat dazed.

“It sounds stupid right? But I want to help heal others, even if I’m still bleeding,” The last verse of a woeful song had been sung; the audience cried deep within their heart. That was what it’d had felt like. You turned around to look at me, the last specks of sunlight shining behind your head like a halo. And you smiled at me, with hopeful, hurt, bitter-sweet eyes which pierced my heart.

You’ve changed since then. A lot. You’re now  more fierce and firesty…stronger. Yet weaker in some ways too. But recently, that side of you reappeared. You sat next to me once, you avoided eye contact with me at all cost and said:

“I’m hurting,people judge me, before they even know me. They hear things about me and don’t even try to see it from my point. They ask me why, I’ll tell them. And they hate me. Yet they pick out my flaws, and make me feel so pathetic. They act like their hurt. Yet I’m the one whose unsure of how to trust, and love becuase I’ve lost many people close to me. I feel deceived. And just remembering. It hurts. I’m hurting,” when I turned to see the expression on your face. I regretted it. Your face all pale, your gazed fixed to the floor, your eyes. They seemed crystal-like with hidden tears behind them. Your expression all together… a weeping warrior? Crying for what had been lost in a battle. My heart melted… I could do nothing but watch in pure anguish.

People may call you fake, But that’s only because they haven’t given you the chance to show them you’re real. And it’s their loss. because in actual fact… you’ve only changed to be what you are. Because they changed to hide what they are.

And if they liked you in the first place, they’d like you always.

But even I sometimes wish… people wouldn’t change…

…you

From…XXXX

(Sorry It’s Such A Crappy Post)

Waiting In The Rain

I love the rain. It makes the world seem so dull. And that sensational feeling of hundred of little raindrops splashing on to you; not to mention sounds that the rain creates- ‘Oh’, that amazing sound, like harmony to my ear.  What’s more, that thought… the thought of millions and millions of rain drops landing on the floor in unison. That thought is what keeps me so intrigued. So patient. So full of hope.

I’ll find myself shivering cold in the rain, wondering…wondering why I’m forcing myself to endure the piercing wind? I stand there, waiting. For what though? The answers to these questions must wait as I stare mesmerizingly at sky when suddenly my heart throbs; my stomach tightens; I cannot help but frown. The droplets of rain glide down my cheek…Are they the tears, which always refuse to come out? My hair makes my head feel slightly heavy as my fringe dangles in front of my eye.

I somehow manage to pull my feet out of the puddle and tread forth, deeper into the lonely and quiet street. I suddenly feel empty inside, walking along the pavement. I realise that in movies, the rain is where two friends meet, or even two lovers meet. In this part of the movie, they usually make a vow, confession or have a very special moment. I wonder what it’s like; having someone you can depend on, or talk to when you’re in great sorrow. I get laughed at lot; people often give me weird looks… they find me strange for liking or not knowing certain things.  This is because my family restricted me from lots of things others my age do. Hence why I had to find my own things to like, own way of playing, own way of seeing things…through innocent eyes I suppose. Even to this very moment, I still see the world in a naive and innocent way sometimes. Therefore no one understands me. But if I could meet someone, like they do in movies… the circumstances wouldn’t be the same.
So I continue walking, my hands shaking; my body shivering; drenched. Till I reach a bridge. I stand there and peer down at the rest of the world. And I notice, notice how hundreds and hundreds of droplets fall at the same time. No droplet is left out. I like that. I stand on the bridge; I close my eyes and I can already hear the footsteps of a friend, walking up to me. His/her body hugs mine tightly, filling me with warmth as he/she laughs. Both our hands clutch the umbrella, as we slowly dream of our time together…

I open my eyes to an empty world once again.  The strong gust of wind blows as my hair is swept off my shoulder; my tears camouflage in with the rain. I wait silently for the sound of footsteps; I wait silently for my dream to turn into reality; I wait silently, admiring my ‘temporary’ friend. The Rain.

…A Story Of Feather-Like-Tears…

I open my eyes… to endless fields of long blades of grass as far as my eye can see. The white, shining moon hung against the black starry sky; the air was filled with the scent of sweet lavender. Amongst all the green stood a large and amazing oak tree; it stood tall and mighty. Such a place… such a place that one can only dream of. Yet, I, myself was standing amongst all this, mesmerised by the landscape and the silence. The grass swayed with the wind and tickled the skin on my legs and breeze blew my blackish-brown hair; it all felt as though I was in a silk like world. Somehow, when I looked down at myself, I found a pretty, short black, shoulder less dress on my body. It was pleated and decorated with small complicated designs. I began examining it when out of the blue a huge wind came sweeping, both my hair and dress backwards! I looked up and closed my eyes and stretch my arms out on either side, allowing myself to enjoy the wind. My heart was telling to smile and laugh but mind said otherwise. I agreed with my heart as dreams like this don’t happened often! I slowly started to spin and dance with the comfort of the green grass beneath my feet. It seemed like, all I’ve ever wanted was right here, wherever ‘here’ is?

When suddenly I caught a glimpse of a shadow from behind me! I realised that I wasn’t alone. I stopped dead in my tracks. As something continued lurking behind the tree. I squinted… trying to make out the figure standing beside the tree. I could tell it was watching me, carefully, like as if I were its prey. I wasn’t quite frightened, nor was I quite okay with the fact that something was stalking me. However I knew I could not just stand here and do nothing. So I did what the crazy people do. I approached it. I was cautious with every step I took closer to it, and step by step. The figure became clearer to me. It was a boy. His eyes, hidden behind his long thick brown hair, his smile?-there was no smile, he was motion less.

He stood there in his white shirt and waist coat under the shade of the tree. We both stood there for several seconds… When, without any warning, something rapidly brushed against my back and pulled me into his arms. Pure white, soft, gentle wings wrapped us together. His warm body heat slowly transferred into me. I wanted to pull away, I did. But I could not resist! His heart beat could be heard, like as if it was plugged into a speaker. His heart beat was slow and calm, unlike mine, which was racing. The hairs on my neck were standing up; I didn’t understand what was happening. I closed my eyes, and counted my breaths as I embraced the warm feeling that was taking over my body. Suddenly, I felt something wet and ice cold drip on to my cheek, and again, and again. I slowly lifted my head from the comfort of his shoulder and realised that… he was crying? Tears rolled down his cheek. He was in pain, yet he was persistent not to let out a single sob…

“wha….what’s wrong?” I finally managed to spit out. He was silent still. I wondered why I was asking, asking this stranger if whom I’ve never met nor seen. The white feathered wings around us, tightened, making my head fall under his chin, into his chest. Our bodies were tightly packed together; his soft shirt felt smooth against my skin. And his chin on my head felt somewhat comforting. “Drip, drip” The tears kept coming. Despite the fact that I didn’t know him, I wanted him to stop crying. It was as if I could feel his misery and pain! My body started burning, I felt helpless.

“Don’t cry, please, I want to help you! What’s wrong?” My voice echoed. And he refused to reply or even move. My hands made its way into his, and grasped on to them. He squeezed them… My heart skipped a beat suddenly. And the tears stopped.

The wings released both of us, and immediately he stepped back. I looked up to see a smile on his face. I felt light and fluffy inside for some reason. Another harsh wind blew as he lifted his wings up and prepared to leave. Without thinking twice, I grabbed his hand. “Don’t go!” I said in a mere whisper. His hair swayed in front of his unseen eyes and he lean forward, towards me with his glowing wings behind him. And a gentle and sweet kiss was place upon my lips. As he once again stepped away, I could help but gasp for air. It was like when our lips met, that time had stopped,and I had tasted my whole life in a spilt second. Slowly, his feet grew further and further away from the floor, white feathers fluttered around both of us and his hand slowly slipped out of mine…

In our hands (A Poem)

Tears are falling from every boy and girl,                

so much hate and war in this awful world,

blood shed, guns, shooting and violence,

will this world be relived of pain in silence,

shouting, yelling and horrid screaming,

for hope and peace people are dreaming,

throughout the world children are dying,

and covered in blood bodies are lying,

children are suffering in so much pain,

yet we are the ones who seem to complain,

we have all the gadgets, we have all the games,

yet we are the ones that don’t act so sane,

we waste food without much thinking,

when dirty water is what poor people are drinking,

swear words and more from our mouth, it leaks,

and yet over there they have not even been taught to speak,

With their empty tummies they sit and pray,

and all we do is nothing all day,

are we mad are we crazy,

why is this world so pathetic and lazy,

why can’t we open our eyes,

for in our hands the future lies,

and this is what worries me most,

all people do is brag and boast,

and if this world is in our little hand,

there won’t be a world on which people can stand,

by Musoka…..

A letter from my first beloved teddy

There was once a teddy that decided it wanted to go away on a new adventure because it decided life must move on and that one could never stop in one place otherwise time would leave it behind. as everyone knows,  things must change for there to be progress and teddy wanted to progress in life. However, this was scary for teddy. Teddy was terrified. It just didn’t know what the future would have in store for it. This was a gigantic step to take, and teddy only had small legs and feet. It might fall through the gaps!! Yet teddy was determined that it should go ahead. It wanted to make its creator happy by becoming a better teddy. The bestest teddy that it could be. Teddy wanted to find someone special to go on this journey with. Someone to help it grow and improve. One day teddy thought it had found that special someone and was happy to start the new  adventure because it’d waited a very long time for it. Yet there was fear and aching  in teddy’s heart. There was a special someones that teddy already had in its life. And  a very extra special someone…

Teddy was very attached to this special someone. They shared what you may call a very special bond indeed. It loved this someone very much and  it was painful for teddy to leave this someone behind. But what could it do? Teddy knew that it’d be okay because this special someone was strong and knew right and wrong. It knew this someone would be good while it was gone. Also teddy knew that they would see this special someone again… And again..and again… So teddy went on the journey with the other special someone whom it also loved. But the  new journey was hard and difficult. Teddy would get sad and miss the special someones it  had left behind and missed deeply sleeping next to the extra special someone. Things changed  for teddy. Things were no longer the same.

When teddy returned home oneday to the special ones, it realized that everything was different.  Home was no longer home. A painful stinging overcame Teddies heart. It had no home now.  Teddy felt like s stranger and a guest. The special ones were still special but because  Teddy was no longer there it missed out on everything. Teddy felt sad and tired all the time. It felt weak mentally and physically. Teddy was alone some nights with no one by its side. And the darkness surrounded teddy alone in the bed, the emptiness taunting it. And teddy cried itself to sleep a lot.  And teddy cried whenever it was by itself, because it missed the voices of the special ones,  and it missed their company. And it missed the hugs from the extra special one. As days went by,  teddy began to feel the walls closing in on it. It felt suffocated and claustrophobic. It felt like it had lost everything. Teddy was lonely. No one to understand teddy. Teddy was craving to feel loved and appreciated.

But it knew that would come soon from its creator when He saw how it had endured so much sorrow and pain patiently. Teddy knew that this trial was the way to make it a better teddy, a stronger one. Teddy knew life was going to be hard and teddy knew the tears and pain would never stop … Except that is, when the One and Only Creator calls it back. But Teddy had to work hard to make sure that the Creator was happy with it. So Teddy continued his journey knowing that the specials ones will always be special. And it was content that the extra special one would be strong and would start its own journey of progress towards making the Creator happy. Teddy understood that this pain and loneliness was only for a short time. And really and truly it knew that no one was really alone because it they knew which way to look then they would find the Creator with them at all times. And it hoped beyond hope that it would be forever with the special ones in eternal bliss when the Creator called them all back to Himself. ….InshaAllah…

The words of which my teddy always speaks always seem to touch the very bottom of my heart and pull out every bit of pain and fill it with love!!! That is only something that my teddy could mange…and she always does!